"Meant To Be ... Lost"
Roger Baird

On July 31st 2007 a hike to Browns Lake at 10,000 ft. in Larimer County Colorado with McKinley, the family dog, was to be my days activity. The day before my wife Kathy flew from Denver to Phoenix to be with her mom who had just been diagnosed with lymphoma. Her sister Pattie was there as well. The three of them had a Tuesday appointment with the oncologist.

A week earlier Kathy and I had driven from Rockford, Illinois to Greeley, Colorado for a short stay at our condo that we keep for our daughter and her roommate during the school year at UNC. I had planned to drive back to Illinois on Tuesday the 31st of July. However, the afternoon before I made the decision to hike into Brown’s Lake.

In 1986 our family hiked into the same lake with the aide of two llamas to carry most of our gear. It was an area I had seen 21 years ago.

I was up at 5:00 a.m. and anxious to go. My daypack was packed and ready the night before. I added two bottles of water, two energy drinks, two beef sticks, one apple and four granola bars. I had ten other bars in a bag in the kitchen that I chose to leave. After all, I would only be gone though the lunch hour. Or so I thought!

For breakfast I had half of a leftover taco my wife had put there two days before and added a glass of orange juice. McKinley had his usual bowl of dog food. We were on our way out of Greeley by 6:00 a.m., through Ft. Collins, left turn to the west at Ted’s Place and then the climbing, winding road up the Poudre Canyon along the river.

My first look at the Poudre was in 1962 when I went to Colorado for my college years at CSU in Ft. Collins. I began studying in the School of Forestry and finished with a degree in Zoology.

My love of the outdoors has been with me most all my life. It began in my pre-teen years when I would go fishing and camping in Wisconsin with my family. Week long trips to the Boundary Waters with the boy scouts, and in later years with my friends during the summers, gave me lots of time in the outdoors while going to school. In Colorado I went hunting and skiing for the first time. After college I joined the Air Force and lived in Tacoma, Washington. I flew C-141’s, a large military transport plane, throughout the world. While living in Washington State I became a serious backpacker and cross country skier with a climb of Mt. Rainer and some winter overnight excursions into the Olympic and Cascade Mountain ranges. After my Air Force years I moved back to Colorado where I was a commercial pilot with Frontier Airlines and continued to pursue my outdoor interests. Since 1988 I have lived in Northern Illinois and continued my outdoor activities when able. All that to say, I have had a lifetime of experience in the outdoors.

I reached the Pingree Park turnoff about 7:30, turned south and began the climb up the gravel road to the Browns Lake trailhead. It was a typical Colorado summer morning with blue skies and the promise of warm temperatures. Afternoon thunderstorms are always a possibility in the west. The plan was to be in and out by mid-afternoon to avoid those storms should they arise and be able to call to see how my mother-in-laws oncology appointment had turned out.

I arrived at the trailhead area, parked my vehicle in the Brown’s Lake gravel lot on the right side of the road, locked the car and was hiking by 8:00 a.m.

My usual routine was to check the map, look at the compass, read the trailhead sign, if there was one, and then head out. I did none of the three! That carelessness would haunt me the better part of the next three days. Scripture says: “Do not let this book of the law depart from your mouth, meditate on it day and night, then you will be prosperous and successful.” Hiking wisdom says, do not depart on a hike unless you check the map and compass! Of course, if had I taken the right map I would not have this story to tell.

As I began walking, I noted that the terrain and vistas were not what I had remembered 21 years ago. But then trees grow and memories fade. There were mountain wildflowers to admire, the odor of pine trees to smell as I walked and a blue grouse was flushed by McKinley. The further I went the less sure I became of being on the right trail, since I was walking on a forest service logging road and not a typical hiking path. Then I started thinking of what I saw at the trailhead. Where was the Brown’s Lake sign? Then I remember. When we parked in the lot twenty-one years ago with the llamas we crossed the road to the trailhead. I had not crossed the road. I was going the WRONG WAY. At fifty minutes I turned around and headed back to the parking lot. After forty minutes of walking, I realized I was not going back the way I had come in. However, I remembered a fork in the road I had passed. I hoped that was the right way back.

Soon I was back to the forked road and followed it. Then more walking and still no parking lot. I couldn’t be lost! The dog stopped at most every small stream to drink and lie in the cold water. It was a very warm day. We snacked, rested and moved on. I needed God’s direction. I walked down road number 144, 142, 142A, 142B &142C. Most were dead ends. I placed a line of rocks across each spur so I wouldn’t repeat my steps. Everything looked the same. ( My wife told me later that a member of Search and Rescue said to her that the maze of logging roads in the area I was lost in were like “spaghetti.” I said to Kathy: “and I’m the meatball they were looking for.”) The dog was tiring and getting sore feet. I was too! We walked more gingerly. The afternoon wore on. Lord, direct me I prayed. We had walked nine hours and it was time to stop. I knew we were lost! “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Prov.16:9

I found a relatively large, flat open area, although the trees were quite tall. It was an area where hunters camped in the fall. There was lots of dry wood and three ready made fire rings. I picked one, gathered wood and built a fire. Then I made a large SOS out of dry wood in the middle of the forest service road and used my reflective silver space blanket in the middle of the O. I cut and laid out a yellow plastic tube tent I had for a survival situation . I secured it over a lean-to I constructed of wood and rocks. I spilled all my gear on the ground and made mental notes of what I had and how I might use it.

I had carried survival gear and a first-aid kit on my outdoor adventures since I was in the Air Force back in 1970. Occasionally I would take grief from my family and friends for the extra items I had in my pack. I was glad I had all that I did. I had some food and basic gear. Nearby was water and I had my dog for companionship. I knew that the Lord was in control and for His glory I was where I was meant to be for the moment. When I became anxious and thinking negatively, my thoughts would go back to Him and His peace that surpasses all understanding. He comforted me and gave me strength to endure and make wise decisions.

I knew my wife Kathy would be concerned that I had not called by dinner time. I also knew she would notify authorities when I was overdue. She did and I was declared a missing person by 10 p.m. the first night. Search and rescue would be looking for me the next morning. However, I knew they would be searching the Brown’s Lake trail where I was supposed to have been.

I gathered more wood as darkness approached. Keeping busy was key to keeping my mind occupied with right thinking. It was a restless night as I alternated sleeping under the shelter or near the fire, keeping it going all through the night for warmth and comfort.

My sleeping clothes consisted of baseball hat, short sleeve t-shirt, long sleeve t-shirt, hooded windbreaker, and a fleece jacket. I had only hiking shorts for my lower body so I used the fleece jacket as pants, putting my legs through the arms. Of course I had socks and shoes with new blisters added to each foot. I rolled up in the space blanket for added warmth and insulation. McKinley would lie near the shelter or near the fire depending on where I was.

I was up at first light adding wood to the fire, making some hot tea with my small stove and adding one of my five sugar cubes for energy. The dog and I each had a couple of bites of granola bar, and I gave him half of the remaining beef stick. I walked down to the water source, a foot wide stream running from the top of the mountain, where I filled my four bottles and a one gallon zip-lock bag, treating the bottles with iodine tablets and neutralizer. I used the gallon bag as a water supply for McKinley. Before locking the car that morning I had even grabbed his plastic dog dish as a last minute item for my pack.

I spent my second day wood hunting and working on my shelter to make it more weather resistant. I also called 9-1-1 three times during the day. I heard the operator twice, but she could not hear me. The small whistle and airhorn I carried were also used periodically throughout the day in hopes someone was near and would respond.

About noon I heard and occasionally saw a military helicopter searching the area they thought I would be in. I thought that no searching would take place in my area until at least the next day. However, at 5:00 p.m. I heard the chopper getting closer. I threw green boughs on the fire for more smoke, ran to the SOS on the road, and waved a shirt and the space blanket that I pulled off the ground. The helicopter was flying straight at me and flew overhead at less than 500 feet but did not see me.

My mind soon went to thinking there was a possibility it could be days before I was found or possibly not found at all. I was very discouraged at this point. Prayer at this time brought me back to a hopeful mindset as McKinley and I shared half of a granola bar and he ate the last of the remaining beef stick.

The second night was a repeat of the first, although a bit cooler temperature, especially with the breeze. I prayed and planned what I could do differently to be found. At times I considered hiking again to follow out a couple of roads I hadn’t walked earlier. Cross country was out of the question. My mind though, kept telling me to stay put. That is a cardinal rule when you know searchers are looking for you. An added incentive was the inability of McKinley to walk any further. At 80 pounds he was more than I wanted to try to carry and I wasn’t ready to leave him behind.

The helicopter flying directly overhead without seeing me was a Godsend. I knew I had to find a more open area so I could be seen more easily from a horizontal view point.

I was up at daybreak again the third day gathering more wood. My stash of fuel was growing. I thought that if it were several more days before I was found, perhaps I would be too weak to gather so I should store it up. The dog and I split part of the remaining granola bar, I brewed tea and drank more water. I then walked down to refill my water containers. The dog chose to stay behind in camp. His foot pain must have been too great to follow.

On the way to get water, I walked through a very open clearing where visibility was much greater than where I was camped. There was a pronounced slope though to all of the area. It was also very exposed to the elements. However, I decided that this was a place where I could be seen more easily by searchers from above.

After getting water, I walked back to the clearing and once again built a log lined SOS, laid out half the space blanket, gathered wood, made a second fire ring and started another fire. I also cut green boughs for the smoke effect when needed. I then began constructing another shelter from available wood.

My cell phone battery was near depletion. I stood on a stump, pulled the three inch antenna out and tried 9-1-1 again. From Sprint no service, then to roam, then to a signal and a ring! Then the 9-1-1 operator answered. I could hear her. She said: “Your voice is weak.” Then the signal was lost. I tried again. This time she could hear me clearly. I said I was the lost hiker. She said: “Oh good!” The tension and anxiousness of my situation drained from me as I told her what Forest Service road I was on with a camp fire and SOS made of logs.

Soon I saw a small airplane coming over the horizon. I wasn’t sure if it was help. I piled the green boughs on the fire, waved my shirt and prayed I would be seen. The Civil Air Patrol aircraft then began circling with left wing down. I knew I’d been spotted! Praise God! What relief! I packed up my few possessions strewn about and waited. About thirty minutes later I heard a vehicle coming through the trees. When the Larimer County Search and Rescue truck stopped beside me, Don and Tony got out of the vehicle and introduced themselves. I was rescued! “The righteous cry out and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” Ps.34:17

The ordeal was over. McKinley and I had faired well thanks to the protective power of God and His plan that we should be rescued. I am reminded of Ps.121:1 which says: “I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? It comes from the Lord my God, Creator of heaven and earth.”

Tony drove the S&R truck as McKinley and I spent the next half hour riding the three miles back to civilization. The dog was exhausted and lay across my lap. As we exited the woods a wave of emotional joy swept over me. There before me was my wife, our two daughters, extended family, friends and many volunteers all involved in the search. What a humbling experience to see those faces and think back to less than two hours before when I did not know if I’d ever see any of these people again. I had tears in my eyes as I climbed out of the truck and hugged Kathy. I couldn’t speak as I just held on. What an emotion filled reunion. I was lost then found…the second time in my life! The first time in 1982 was spiritual. This time it was a physical rescue.

Just as the Lord provided the faith for me to believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins, He gave me the strength, encouragement and faith to know that His promises are forever. I was safely in His hands. As in I Peter 1 God was testing my faith that it might be proved genuine. God’s sovereign plan was for me to be lost and found.

During those dark, uncertain moments I recalled scripture I’d memorized years ago. Prov.3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” Phil. 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Ps. 139 gave me comfort as I tried to sleep at night.

God continues to teach my wife and me as time moves us further away from this trial. What has our Lord shown us to this point? 1) Our marriage is a gift from God. We need to treasure the gift. 2) There may be a possible change in our careers that we are praying about. 3) The amazing unity in Christ when believers come together with one heart to pray for others in trials. We should comfort others as we have been comforted. 4) Lastly, the importance of storing scripture in our hearts. Just as I stored up extra wood anticipating a possible “physical” weakness, His word was there for my mental mindset.

In closing, I’d like to share one more scripture that my wife prayed to give her comfort during this trial. Ps. 34:7 “The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him; and He delivers them.” Kathy and I praise God for His amazing rescue of us both physically and spiritually.

Finally I would like to add this poem titled Perception Lost. The author is unknown. It is self-explanatory.
        His eyes are dim who cannot see, a mountain’s purple majesty.
        His ears are deaf who cannot hear, love songs of birds in spring of year.
        His feel is numb who never seeks, a mountain breeze to cool his cheeks.
        His soul is dead who gets no thrills, from rocks and woods and templed hills.
        He who no wilderness has trod, has missed a chance to walk with God.